Monday, 12 November 2012

Accentuate the positive

You've got accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch onto the affirmative
Don't mess with Mr Inbetween

So I was going to post a highly self indulgent missive full of woe and angst.  I was going to bemoan the people in this world who have slighted me, denied me and just been downright mean to me.  But then I thought what would the point of that be?  What would it achieve, and would I look back on this post in the future and feel proud of what I wrote?

There is an indubitable truth in the saying, "you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family", however, this doesn't mean that you have to like them particularly.  I am a bit of an oddity.  I am an only child of two only children so there has never been any sibling rivalries, squabbles or jealousies to contend with.  Growing up, I did sometimes wish for a brother or sister and felt a bit envious of friends with larger families.  I thought maybe I was missing out on something.

Having 2 girls has broken the "only" pattern.  It's been a real learning curve for me.  Sibling rivalry rears it's ugly head pretty early on and is a massively shocking thing to a singleton like me.  It ranges from the petty, "she's got more sweeties/biscuits/icecream/ etc. than me",  to heartbreaking accusations of parental preferences,"you're always telling me off and not her - you love her more than me".  It's a real eye-opener.

Also, there have been some "issues" at large in the wider family.  It's all been a bit unpleasant and quite upsetting. I feel pretty miserable about it all because I am the one that set it all in motion. Just one little comment misconstrued has blown up and taken on a whole new life and direction.  So much so, that sadly, it would seem that my apology isn't enough.   There's been no acknowledgement of it at the time, or for the following apology some time later.  This is difficult to deal with.  Surely an apology should be acknowledged even if it's to decline to accept it.

Now it's all very awkward.  Other people in the family seem to know all about it and it hasn't come from us. It's verging onto farcical at times.... oh my god, look who's here, for crying out loud don't say a word! So no one mentions it and important information is now found out via social media.  Round robin announcements deliberately miss us out.  Seriously, it's school ground behaviour really and yet there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Oops, I said I wasn't going to whine and moan and that's exactly what I am doing.  Enough.  I am done worrying about it and going over it all.  It isn't going to help.  I will simply let it all go. There aren't really any positives so I will have to move onto the second line of the song and eliminate the negative.  I will just get on with life.  My little branch is now a cutting and is taking root all on it's own free from the dead wood that was beginning to drag it down.


Daisie said...

Families are such hard work. As long as all the people under my roof are ok and happy that's all that matters to me now and it sounds like it should be all that matters to you too. Hugs x

Padiham Knitter said...

You got it right there Daisie!